His father ran a dentists out of the hou… I don’t have the prettiest face for you to see or the skinniest waist for you to hold. Facebook is a social networking site that makes it easy for you to connect and share with family and friends online. Facebook is where hypocrisy, falseness, double standards, rumors, and depression meet up for coffee. Of course I have a talent. Sometimes I wish life was like facebook, you can delete anyone off your page and go back and delete everything you have said and done! I have also been told that I am beyond cure. Originally developed as Facebook Chat in 2008, the company revamped its messaging service in 2010, and subsequently released standalone iOS and Android apps in August 2011. I made my Facebook name “Benefits,” so when you add me now it says “you’re friends with benefits.”. As long as cocoa beans grow on trees, chocolate is fruit to me. So when I see someone post something stupid I can like it, and it will say ‘Nobody Likes This’. 3.1K likes. You can get the best status facebook to share it on your facebook profile. It didn’t take long for his skills to become apparent. Sheryl Sandberg is chief operating officer at Facebook, overseeing the firm's business operations. Funny Facebook Status: This is the best ever post of Funny Facebook Status for all the Facebook users out there. Can’t stand me? I’m keeping you there so you will be able to see how happy I am without you. That’s cool. If I wanted to commit suicide, I would climb up to the height of your ego and jump down to your IQ level. Delete me, Poke me, Like me, Limit me … The choice is yours … Welcome to Facebook, where no one is really your friend. Whenever you need some funny Facebook status lines to make funny Facebook posts or funny status updates these funny Facebook quotes will help you the most. Don’t tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon. Community See All. Forgot account? The best funny status ideas and updates. I’m self-employed. Can’t face me? Light travels faster than sound. I was s*exually harassed at work by my boss. Statut original, ‎المحمدية‎. Connect with friends, family and other people you know. Facebook should have a “No One Cares” button. Statut family. FaceBookStatus123 is the place to read best Facebook status messages. Status, Captions & Quotes for Facebook, Whatsapp & Instagram. Ready made material is available here. Clearly understanding the importance of coding, Zuckerberg’s father Edward taught him Atari BASIC computer programming. Girls use Photoshop to look beautiful. The slogan will be: “Viagra Rises, Niagra Falls! I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones… that’s why it’s called a “cell” phone. Not everyone has good taste. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. You’re born free, then you’re taxed to death. Créer du contenu original (même aussi minime qu’un statut Facebook) est difficile. Dernière mise à jour le 6 septembre 2019 à 10:08 par Jean-François Pillou. If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer…. Don’t worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. Do not argue with an idiot. Facebook is showing information to help you better understand the purpose of a Page. 103K likes. Prior to Facebook, Sheryl was vice president of Global Online Sales and Operations at Google, chief of staff for the United States Treasury Department under President Clinton, a management consultant with McKinsey & Company, and an economist with the World Bank. If you can fake that, you’re in. Life is short, smile while you still have teeth. FaceBookStatus123 is the place to read best Facebook status messages. Who needs television when you have so much drama on Facebook. Build your own fake Facebook Status and prank your friends. They say every piece of chocolate you eat shortens your life by 2 minutes. My ex-girlfriend’s status said suicidal and standing on the edge. I’m just updating my status while waiting for the water to boil. Copier-Coller les statuts facebook/tweets les plus originaux, droles et insolites ! Children in the back seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause children! If you’re not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator? Funny status ideas. Travel the world until your Facebook’s check-ins finished! I did the math. Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don’t have the film. Seems I died in 1543. Enjoy on this social platform with your friends living near or far. If I should arrive before I get back, please ask me to wait. Weather forecast for tonight: Dark with a chance of tomorrow in the morning. I’m really scared, you guys. I’m really good in bed. Thanks to Facebook, I now know what everyone’s bathroom looks like! Whether they like it or not. I’m going to open a new Facebook account named ‘Anonymous’ so all the cool quotes will be attributed to me! I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you. But I don’t really mind. What can you do to promote world peace? If you ever get an email about pork, ham, salt, and preservatives, don’t open it. ‎ليس كُل ﻣآ أكتبه حِكآيهٌ عَنْ وآقعيٌ إنمَآ هِيَ ( كلِمَآتٌ ) رآقَتٌ لِيً ♥ وقدَ ﯾـحتَآجھَآ غِيري‎ A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. Go home and love your family. Avoir une opinion implique de penser à une position concernant la prémisse ou le concept. 30 funny Facebook status updates 1) This student should get an extended deadline for their brutal honesty, and the teacher who posted the status should maybe shave his mustache. You can use them as funny DP caption, funny text, hilarious Facebook posts even as funny Facebook comments or Facebook story. Adding you as my friend doesn’t mean I like you, I did it just to increase my friend list. Enjoy on this social platform with your friends living near or far. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you. 691 people like this. A Facebook status is a feature that allows users to post and share a small amount of content on their profile, on their friends' walls and in Facebook news feeds. When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark. 747 people follow this. It’s like a normal shower but with me in it. You can change ANYTHING, use emoticons and even upload your own profile photos for post and comments. Originally designed for college students, Facebook was created in 2004 by Mark Zuckerberg while he was enrolled at Harvard University. I’d rather check my Facebook than face my checkbook. Got a problem with me? Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough. I’m sorry that I’m not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. That awkward moment when you change your Facebook status to “Single” and your ex likes it. Enjoy! Long time ago I used to have a life until someone told me to create a Facebook account. The only reason why 30 guys liked your picture is that they can see right down your shirt. This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog! Search random posts or submit your own. So I poked her. I think I’m gonna take a hot shower. Je vous propose de découvrir plus 50 statuts Facebook drôles et comiques qui vont faire délirer vos amis à coup sûr. Commenting on best status quotes fills the day with fun. So enjoy your life with your friends! Commenting on best status quotes fills the day with fun. It is a word that best describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others. Please pray for me. Statut original. You don’t have to like me, I’m not a Facebook status. It’s spam. Les meilleurs statuts Facebook . The kids next door challenged me to a water balloon fight. The father is Nutella. Here we have compiled some of the best and humorous quotes as the new funny status that you will love to post on your Facebook profile. I might as well call you Google because you have everything that I am looking for. Facebook is like the prison, you write on walls and get poked by people you don’t know. Facebook is kind of like a prison. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. When he was 11, his parents hired a software developer named David Newman to tutor him. I don’t have an iPad. It is possible to communicate an important message without necessarily using too many words. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back. ‎Fuck عاالم‎ See more of Statut original on Facebook Clever Facebook status. … Now read without the word dog. Oh, you’re popular on Facebook? Penser est difficile. You spend all day staring at walls and getting poked by people you don’t know. If I don’t log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must’ve kidnapped me! People who smile while they are alone used to be called insane until we invented smartphones and social media. That way you can successfully make a good copy of facebook that will look exactly alike the original. Quitting Facebook is the new adult version of running away from home. Facebook Messenger could soon automatically tell your closest friends you’re at the gym, driving or in Tokyo. My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room. Over the years, Facebook has released new apps on a variety of different operating systems, launched a dedicated website interface, and … The lesson is, never try. Nerd flirting: I wish I could select all of your clothes and press delete. Our Facebook status messages help to appear interesting so, make your fb status different from the others. It’s a good way to connect with your friends. So enjoy your life with your friends! Honesty is the key to a relationship. Status quo definition is - the existing state of affairs. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. Saturday, September 22, 2012. Sometimes I sleep more than 9 hours in one go. I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. This is why some people appear bright until they speak. I know what you’re doing right now… You’re reading on my wall, Right! The Collection of Funny Facebook Status Updates The world's greatest collection of Funny Facebook status updates. ... http://facebook-statuts.blogspot.com I’d really post your name here every minute if Facebook keeps on asking me what’s on my mind. 244 likes. Cela implique que la personne doit penser, organiser les mots et donner l’apparence d’une structure qui exprime une idée ou une opinion. Mark Zuckerberg took the first steps of his path at an early age. 9 out of 10 voices in my head say that I’m crazy. According to my mirror I am pregnant. I am on a seafood diet. In modern politics, even the leader of the free world needs help from the sultan of Facebookistan. I want to make my name on Facebook ‘Nobody’. Quotes et statut algerian | See more about تصميمي, ﻋﺮﺑﻲ and كﻻم Stop advertising your relationship on Facebook. Statut pub original, Pinon, Picardie, France. Find a funny Facebook status to use for yourself. Newman to this day calls Zuckerberg a “prodigy”. I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I mean, these days it’s easy to have 1,500 friends that you’ve never met before. “Yep, gravity still works!”. Whenever you want to post a Facebook status for your profile picture, selfie captions, videos or making funny Facebook posts, make it sure to be creative to choose something interesting and clever or funny. I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven’t pooped it out yet.

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